


get the courage of the cavalry

by theprincessed



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Canon Compliant, Changing Tenses, F/M, Friendship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Memories, Reminiscing, Sexuality Crisis, Young Robert Sugden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 14:29:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11419935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theprincessed/pseuds/theprincessed
Summary: After Jack tells Robert to leave Emmerdale, a young, sad, frustrated and confused Robert plans to go to London anyway, but his car breaks down.It leads him into an unexpected encounter, which teaches him a lot about himself and life.(Inspired by Take That'sUnderground Machine)





	get the courage of the cavalry

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! Another one already??! To be honest, I never thought I'd write about young Robert but for some reason this song inspired me to write this messy little thing. Sorry about the random characters lol.
> 
> #2 is _Underground Machine_ \- [lyrics](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/takethat/undergroundmachine.html) / [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRTdobIIJAw)
> 
> Hope you enjoy x

The sky is washed a murky indigo in the humid July heat, air pollution foiling the stars, when Robert realises that patience is no longer his forte. He had so much of it growing up, spending hours on different hobbies and even the days when he had to muck in on the farm because they were short of a few pairs of hands. He had patience with people too, although admittedly mostly limited to the exclusive club of his mum and Vic and, in the beginning, Andy but he's all too aware why that's changed, why he's changed. 

It's been 11 months and 16 days since Jack told him to leave Emmerdale behind and never look back.

11 months and 16 days since he chose to save Andy's life first and Max fatally suffered the consequences.

Past the tears as he sat alone in his car and drove down endless roads, Robert's still frayed at the edges but at least he's surviving. In the few hours after the crash and Jack telling him to go, he had thought about going to London anyway, even if he didn't have Sarah Jr with him or, to a less important extent, Debbie. He would've made it if his trusty little car hadn't given up the ghost somewhere just south of Leeds like a personification of how he felt back then. He debated going back somehow then almost as quick dismissed it because Jack would love to hate him for that too, for having the gall to disobey and disappoint again and Andy and Debbie probably wouldn't have been pleased either, so he stayed put and managed to walk to the nearest town to call on the first garage he saw.

Despite his loss of everything – his home, his family, his emotions after that tragic crying half hour between Robblesfield and the A64 - one thing finally went his way and his car was sorted in hours.

As the evening drew in, he had a working car again and the offer of a sofa for the night from one of the young apprentice mechanics.

“Do I look that pathetic?” he scowled, arms folded as the boss went into the garage's office with a sizeable chunk of Robert's London cash.

The skinny stranger with a shaved head and huge brown eyes grimaced in thought then spoke in his surprisingly deep voice, like he'd swallowed puberty whole, “I wouldn't say pathetic, no. More just...lost? I've got a place and a sofa with everyone's name on it, if you like. I'm Ellis, by the way.”

Robert hated that he could look that transparent, vowed to work on that, but begrudgingly shook his hand and clung onto the offer anyway. It would do for one night, maybe even make him feel like a trendy student rather than boring old homeless.

His patience wore thin however when he turned up at the address Ellis gave him two hours before his shift would finish to find no sign of Ellis whatsoever. Horrified that he might've been played and telling himself it was another battle lost, something to make him less trusting, Robert hung around for a bit with his hands in the pockets of his denim jacket and waited in the approaching dark because frankly he had nothing better to do. Five minutes felt like five hours but eventually a car as pokey as Robert's eased behind him and Ellis scrambled out, still dressed in his grease-stained overalls with rushed apologies on his lips.

Robert tuned out what he was saying, only interested in not spending his first night away from home with enough bad luck to land him on the streets, and must zone out now in his reminiscing because he jumps when he feels a tap to his shoulder. Ellis is laughing before he's spun around and Robert rolls his eyes, briefly giving a smiling nod to Louisa, his girlfriend, standing beside him.

“What time d'you call this?” Robert shakes his head, hands in the pockets of his shorts, “I've been waiting ages!”

“Ah keep your hair on, grandma,” Ellis grumbles. “We're 'ere now and that's all that matters.”

They turn towards the pub, the Red Cow, and Robert breathes in, desperate for a pint. Having spent his whole life in one village apart from trips to see Annie and Amos in Spain, there was really no need to carry ID in a place where everyone knew who he was from the minute he was born – _that's Jack Sugden's son_ , the whispers would say - but here was a different story, so he lets Ellis get the first round in to bed them in and make it more believable that he is 20 years old and serving him won't be a problem later. The Red Cow is remarkably like The Woolpack in it's dark and cosiness and he and Louisa shuffle into a corner, intending on a few drinks before they decide what else to do.

Even nearly a year on from them meeting at the garage, Robert marvels at how he stuck around. He's not ready to let go yet, like London is still too much of the big smoke to leap towards, but it's fine, he's got all the time in the world and the rest of his life to plan, making friends when needed and nothing more.

The evening starts out like usual, a Friday night where punters are letting their hair down after a hard week at work and Robert knows the feeling. A week after he continued to stay on Ellis' lumpy sofa and he had pried out some personal information from Robert that needed no further explanation, he had come home from another day at the garage and flung a pair of overalls identical to his own at Robert's chest as he slouched on the sofa, much less lumpy when he was playing FIFA and not sleeping.

“Gaffer wants a word tomorrow, see if you can do the job.”

Robert blinked at him, dumbfounded, then clenched his jaw to hide his appreciation. “You got me a job?”

“No,” Ellis smiled, “You're gonna get yourself one 'cause I can't keep having you here rent free and eating all me grub.”

Louisa was as cordial when Ellis brought her along to one of their Friday night pub jaunts, giving her opinion on Robert's growing collection of t-shirts from Topman and shrugging her shoulders in acceptance when it was Robert's turn to cook at the flat and he chose 'posh stuff' as Ellis called it, like baby corn and water-chestnuts for a stir fry.

Blonde and sparkly eyed, Robert would never pair her and Ellis together but then he's had a fair few girlfriends like that. He won't say he's punching above his weight because Ellis is his own brand of good looking, it's that he looks like he can also handle himself in a fight. Then again, most princes handy with their fists or a weapon win the heart of the princess in the end.

Louisa is particularly animated tonight, sitting so close to Robert that their elbows touch so often it's like a caress as she tells him about some drama involving one of her other friends and Robert sighs internally. It's been so long since he had anything meaningful with the opposite sex. He's had plenty of snogs, even some heavy petting that made Ellis' sofa briefly more bearable, but this town is small too and he's running out of options if he doesn't want to get slapped by several different girls for not texting when he said he would.

Louisa smells sweet next to him and Robert holds his breath, desperate not to get hard and increasingly gagging for more than his drink. Ellis is taking ages to get to their table, waylaid at the bar yakking away to the barman who he knows from school. Robert knows because he happily told him, the open, friendly, generous book that he is, but right now Robert wishes everyone was a bit more what he's become, putting himself in situations when they're necessary and nothing more.

Maybe that's why Robert feels so out of his depth in this moment and Louisa doesn't seem to be getting the memo either as she slides her hand onto the long muscle of his thigh. His gaze darts to Ellis, _still_ talking, before he looks at Louisa, panicked.

“What're you doing? You have a boyfriend,”

She grins, all teeth and sharkish, “I do. Why is that a problem?”

“It's not,” Robert whines, shoulders slumping. He's self-aware enough to remember that that little fact has rarely been a problem for him in his life, but he's not at home now and he's stayed here nearly a year. He was hoping that he could make here his home now, close enough should Vic ever be despairing enough to need him again.

“Well then,” she purrs and leads with her shoulder, turning her body towards him as she presses her bitten fingernails into the inseam of his jeans. She tilts her head towards his ear to whisper, “You're so fit, Robert.”

The chatter is louder all around them than the background music but Robert hears her as clear as if she shouted it across the pub and his stomach flips at the praise, greedy for more, and his mouth twitches in a smile. “You're not so bad yourself.”

She murmurs appreciatively and her palm drifts warmly up Robert's thigh under the table and he watches her hand appear between his legs, so brazenly close to his cock he's sweating in his summer outfit and it has nothing to do with the weather. “Y'know, I'm dying to - ”

“Get your lips around that!” Ellis crows, breaking across what Louisa was going to say to slam a pint in front of Robert so hard on the table that beer sloshes down the sides of the glass and over Ellis' hand. With a shrug, he licks it up and looks down at Robert as he sits frozen, wondering how much he heard and saw of him and his girlfriend. He knows he's not a better person now, but at least he's trying to be.

He snorts an awkward laugh and pushes Louisa's hand away quickly at the same time as he reaches for his drink, gulping mouthfuls after a muttered thanks and glad that that was only a close call. He doesn't want to get punched by Ellis, mostly because it'll definitely bloody hurt and also because Ellis is his first mate since his life got so out of control.

He sits quietly, but his eyes follow Louisa as she switches sides and plants herself right in Ellis' lap. He accepts her happily, hand around her waist that drifts to her breast before she slaps it down with an eye roll and a grin from him. There's a foot in height between them, but it doesn't seem to matter, despite how much Robert wishes it would when Louisa's legs uncross in her denim mini skirt. It's not vulgar until Robert snaps his gaze up from her bare shapely legs to find her already looking at him, like she knows what he's thinking. He still hasn't got the hang of closing off his emotions completely and desire seems to be the hardest one to conquer. He blinks and tunes into his friends' conversation to see Louisa and Ellis' lips almost touching and her hand lightly cupping his clean shaven cheek.

“I think we should ask him,” she says, “could be fun.”

“You and your fun.” Ellis tuts, good-natured, but pushes his girlfriend up so he can scoot closer to Robert then settle her back down “So, me and Lou have been talking,”

“Usually when we're in bed,” Louisa giggles, leaning in conspiratorially. 

Robert's eyes widen and his heart starts to pound in a confused rhythm because picturing them in bed together is confusing in itself. Robert grits his teeth and imagines Louisa, a fake tanned and gloriously naked contrast to the long pale expanses made up of Ellis' body. Her eyes sparkle victoriously even though Robert hasn't said anything to her comment except maybe that's comment enough.

“Yeah, alright, when we're in bed,” Ellis chuckles so easily and Robert understands partly what he's not saying by agreeing – that they talk and it's obviously about him. He entertains that maybe Ellis wants him to move out and starts mentally planning so thoroughly that he only catches the tail end of what he's actually saying. For so long he disregarded what people in his life told him, about himself, about life in general and the disappointment he would always be when he decided he didn't want to be Jack's little shadow anymore and it's one of the habits he's trying to break in this new life, even if it means he feels less protected. “ - and I gotta admit, I came so fucking hard, mate, it was unreal. I would say it was the little extra Lou was giving me y'know,” he wiggles his fingers in a mime of tickling his nether region then shrugs, “but I think it was the filth she was saying to be honest, about how hot we'd be together and if I really wanted to ask you,”

Robert's struggling to catch up. “I'm sorry – what? Ask me what?”

Louisa puts her hand on Robert's knee. “Come back to the flat after this drink for some fun, with us.”

“With – both of you?” He feels faint as he looks between them, sick with want. He's more concerned about Ellis though. “But you're - ”

In a relationship. A mate. _Straight_. 

He can't even say that because they all know he'd really mean the opposite. He closes his eyes and swallows down the fear as he's transported back to a few years ago and a body with too little softness about him and the musky scent of boy and farm work.

“Shit, I'm sorry,” Ellis curses and Robert opens his eyes, heart sinking. So, he is straight after all and Robert just showed him his hand of cards. “I'm bi and I thought you were too.”

“What?” he grunts, “I mean – I don't – I guess, yeah. That, maybe.”

He can't say it and yet that doesn't seem to bother either of them, both of their faces lighting up and he finds himself smiling when Ellis catches around him heartily. “Mate, I'm so glad I met you.”

He's said the same to Ellis, in his drunken moments, and then something clicks.

He's kissed him before.

He tried to block it out the next day and forget forever, ready with the excuse of too much alcohol then Ellis hadn't said anything and Robert figured he hadn't remembered. He's proving the opposite now.

“So?”

Robert stares at the last quarter of his pint and tries to think whether he needs more liquid courage or this is enough. Ellis and Louisa are so lovely. He downs his drink and licks his lips afterwards, thrilled at them watching him do it. “Let's get out of here.”

They take a taxi back to the flat and are inside the door when Ellis tries to kiss Robert. He stops him with a hand to his chest, his frame much more lanky than Robert's and his height a couple of inches more so Robert has to look up slightly. “Have – have you done this before?”

Ellis smiles crookedly. “Kissed a bloke? Yeah, I'm a bisexual in action, me.”

“Shut up,” Louisa says to his joking around.

Robert swallows. “No, I mean – have you and Lou – y'know?”

A look passes between them before Louisa takes Robert's hand and leads him to the lumpy sofa. There's just enough room for the three of them to sit down, Robert's mates flanking each of his sides as Louisa peers at him seriously and shakes her head. “No, we haven't. This isn't some kinky thing for me or some bi stereotype for El. We like you and that's it.”

Robert finds that hard to believe, that'd it'd be that easy. What would good, honest people like these two like about him, the real him?

“Okay,” he says instead, fighting away the doubt to do what he's good at.

Soon, Louisa is in her bra and skirt and her head is bent over Robert's crotch, beginning to suckle at his dick as an equally topless Ellis kisses the life out of him. He has a feeling he's going to remember this kiss come morning and a whole lot more after that.

“What're you smirking at?”

At the sound of Aaron's voice, Robert looks down at his outfit of jeans, white shirt and brown blazer as he stands outside The Woolpack on a bright July day, very much _not_ getting sucked off by a pretty blonde and snogged by her hot boyfriend. Instead, his husband is frowning at him. It's his quizzical frown, which actually looks a lot harsher than his normal frown because he's so confused. He imagines that's what he must've looked like to Louisa and Ellis, long forgotten friends who feel like they're part of another lifetime.

Still, it makes him chuckle and Aaron even more confused, possibly borderline annoyed. He shouldn't have been late to their weekly Friday date night – a late run back to the scrapyard - if he didn't want Robert to get impatient and amuse himself in the meantime. Some habits are harder to break than others and he forgets his annoyance at being kept waiting to concentrate on how gorgeous Aaron manages to look in his black work clothes, rushing to see Robert the first opportunity he got instead of taking a detour to go to the Mill and change. Robert loves him so fiercely, so proudly, adoring that he's so himself and hopes that one day he can feel as settled in his own skin. He's getting there and wonders idly what Ellis and Louisa would think of him these days, at least being able to be totally truthful to himself and to Aaron about his sexuality, if nothing else, and if he should try and track them down sometime.

“Threesomes,” he blurts out, grinning.

“What?” Aaron snaps, rightly thinking Robert's taking the piss.

It does sound mad to say it outside of bedroom dirty talk, but Robert learnt a lot that night. As well as the juggling act of pleasing more than one person as well as getting himself off, it was about friendship too and how to build from the ground up. Ellis gave him his first kick start when he had nothing but his car and he and Louisa gave him his first (and only, actually – satisfying one at a time in the same room, man or woman, was enough) threesome, fostering the confidence of both sexual and in general that he'd use to journey to London, where he'd spend a few years honing his skills and preferences which would ultimately set him on a path to come closer to home and meeting the Whites. In some ways, that threesome led him to finding the love of his life a good decade and a bit later on so it's still a pretty great memory. 

Robert nudges the side of his husband's hand with his own and tilts his head instead of explaining for now. “Come on, let's get a pint or three. Maybe I'll tell you all my secrets,”

“Fat chance.” Aaron snorts, but follows him in anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, lovelies x
> 
> I'm on tumblr at [theprincessed](http://www.theprincessed.tumblr.com). Come chat to me. :)


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